Seeing Red

Epiphanies smell like rotting leaves. Whether that's a good or bad thing... well I guess that's up to the individual

I finally hit the road again yesterday after the longest 3 weeks off of my life. I had to let the muscles heal after the last 1/2 marathon. Well I did and it was nothing short of hell. I realized that the thing keeping me sane this year was running.

I've been feeling restless and antsy...the moods have been back full force and even though I tried to make it all better, it just hasn't worked.

The leaves have dropped, I hate TV for the first time in my life, I'm dreading snow & halloween feels like a burden. The real kicker? I don't want Christmas.

I find myself hating the definition of who I was and the expectation that I shall remain the same forever and ever. I wonder why change is so hard for people (myself included) to accept?

I've stepped so far out of my box this year it's nuts, but yet people are still trying to keep me where I was...maybe because then they won't have to be wrong. Maybe because then all of the ASSumptions that they've made will have merit. Why do people want me to fail at the new me?

I'm not saying it's a version of me that will last a lifetime, it's just part of who I am right now, this very minute.

The usual negative presence in my life decided to lecture on how running is bad for you and dangerous...and how I shouldn't be doing it...Umm...SHUT IT! (note: it's a little late to lecture after 2, count 'em TWO, half marathons in 4 months...with no long lasting injuries...other than the loss of a few toenails).

I'm not an idiot, despite what you believe. This was not a task I ventured into lightly. I spent months studying running before I even took a step. Is there a chance I could hurt myself? Tear something? Wreck something? Of course there is.

But if I approach everything in life afraid of what COULD happen I'm going to miss one hell of a ride. There are things in life that are worth risking stepping outside of the bubble for...If i hadn't decided to step outside that bubble I think I would have gone mad this year.

Then again maybe I did, but I was too busy enjoying the scenery to take notice.