Best intentions

Out of focus. That's how I feel these days...like if I just turn the dial a little bit more things will become clear.

This is the second Christmas without my dad and it seems to be harder than the first. I just can't seem to build up that enthusiasm that I used to have for the holiday season. I've accepted that. The thing I'm having a hard time with though are the well intentioned people that have the thought that this year should be easier because it's the second one.

Here's what I've learned. That's a myth. It's doesn't actually get easier. The only people who say that to you are ones who've never gone through it. It's something people say in that awkward moment when they have NO IDEA what to say.

The reality? You just get used to there being a huge gaping hole where he used to be in your life.

Sometimes the best intentions can do so much damage. This is a case where Thumpers voice runs through my head...if you can't say something nice, don't say nuttin at all.

I guess what I need to do is to try to learn how to be patient with these people. They don't know how it feels and I hope to god they never have to.