Crimbo

I just finished reading a fellow bloggers post about "crimbo", that limbo time between Christmas and New Years. I don't know that I've ever hear it described better. I feel like I'm waiting for the New Years...then it'll all finally be over and I can de-decorate my house and get back to normal.

I'm finding myself annoyed at the decorations I have up. It's not Christmas. It's done. I'm ready to take what few I did put up down. Maybe it's the cramped feeling I have in my living room with the 8ft tree, or maybe it's the feeling of a lack of order.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE decorations, but I decorate November 11th...sometimes even earlier. I find that I love the anticipation of christmas all the more and once it's done, so am I.

I feel like I'm in limbo these days. Nothing seems quite right...like I'm a puzzle piece that's in place but when you really look at it you realize it just doesn't quite fit.

I'm crabby and short fused almost all the time...winter blues? I hope not...we haven't even hit the coldest part...there's still 2 months of arctic weather to endure. And I'm the genius who'd running a half marathon in it.

It could be the tendon strain in my right arm, that's making typing this utter agony...I've given up my ipod and computer work for the holidays to let it heal. Could it be I feel my age for the first time in my life?

I'm approaching 37 this upcoming year and I've suddenly had the realization that I'm not 20 anymore. My body hurts. In part from the strain I put it under running, maybe it's not that I'm getting older, but more the realization that I'm not indestructible.

Sleeping has become and adventure in finding just that right spot so nothing hurts...so far no luck.

I remember a time when I could eat what I want and there were no consequences. There was no monitoring levels of wheat/gluten/dairy/alcohol or refined sugars. I ate and loved it. Now I still love what I eat, I just have to be sooooo careful or I get sick.

So my question is; what is it about crimbo that makes me focus on the bad instead of the good?

I can always find something good about my life...it's a great life! So why do I feel like the muppet musicians of Bremmen Town? I believe it was Catgut that whined "I'm old, I'm beat up, I'm worn away and just throwed out".

Today I feel one with Catgut.

Another feeding frenzy

It's ironic that the birds seem to be better weather forecasters than Env. Canada... I looked outside yesterday and was shocked by the amount of sparrows devouring everything in sight. I know this probably meant some storm was moving in and wouldn't you know...all of a sudden it went from 5 clear days to 4 days of snow!

Of course it's changed again...bright and sunny on New years Eve & Day...however the birds are telling me otherwise. I think when I head out today I'll pick up a few things...and play it safe. If i don't have to be out and about in a storm why would I? My drivings not what I'm concerned about...it's all the other idiots that still haven't figured out that texting and driving is moronic.

If I sound harsh, well it's because I am harsh on that particular topic, but in my defense I've almost been hit while out running twice by people too busy texting to see my bright red Santa coloured form against the blinding white snow.

Enough complaining!

I spent this morning browsing through my facebook albums from this year and there's one thing I've noticed (aside from being obsessed with birds)...I've done a hell of a lot of changing this year..and thank god for obsessive picture taking or I probably would have forgotten most of it.

at this time of year we often find ourselves reflecting on the past year and wondering what the new one will bring. I knew I'd done a lot of running & camping, but I'd forgotten last minute road trips and urban hikes!

Urban Hikes are my favourite! We start off from home and then walk...and walk, and walk, and walk! We've explored parts of the city where we live with fresh eyes and take pictures along the way. Have you every really looked at where we live? There's so much to see and so much humor to be found if you only open your eyes to the possibility of it.

Stop. Look. Breathe. Enjoy.

The bluejay has been spotted

Just a quick note; I'd previously lamented the fleeing of all birds except a few house sparrows. Well this morning I happened to notice that there was a solitary bluejay hunting through the seed pile for some corn!!

There's still hope!

Hand Feeding the Chickadees

This past weekend we decided that we had to get out of the house...yes it was freezing outside but i couldn't handle another day of seclusion. After a bit of thought we decided to head out to birds hill provincial park and try a bit of hiking.

I remembered that Cedar Bog trail had, at one point, a series of feeders that could only have been used as winter feeding stations (it would be a bears dream come true in the summer.

We decided to give it a go...I'd also read that the chickadees were fairly tame so I decided to take along some black oil sunflower seed just in case.

Who was I kidding I had every intention of hand feeding them if I could. And hand feed them we did! This was a first for me and I've longed to attempt it with any bird since my up close and personal hummingbird experience this past summer.

They literally dive bombed me the second I pulled the seed out. It reminded me of when I had birds and I'd hear the thrumming of their wings as they would fly from my finger back to the cage.

They would come withing inches of my face, at times hovering mere inches away as they decided if I was friendly or not. I adored every second of it. There were moment where there would be a battle of 2 or 3 different fellas over who was going to get to land first.

This was something I shall never forget and I don't doubt I'll be going back. Probably alone so I can get all the pictures I want and not have to worry about a puppy's cold paws.

So if you're looking to expand your appreciation of nature; Cedar Bog Trail, Birds hill Park and bring along some seed!

Best intentions

Out of focus. That's how I feel these days...like if I just turn the dial a little bit more things will become clear.

This is the second Christmas without my dad and it seems to be harder than the first. I just can't seem to build up that enthusiasm that I used to have for the holiday season. I've accepted that. The thing I'm having a hard time with though are the well intentioned people that have the thought that this year should be easier because it's the second one.

Here's what I've learned. That's a myth. It's doesn't actually get easier. The only people who say that to you are ones who've never gone through it. It's something people say in that awkward moment when they have NO IDEA what to say.

The reality? You just get used to there being a huge gaping hole where he used to be in your life.

Sometimes the best intentions can do so much damage. This is a case where Thumpers voice runs through my head...if you can't say something nice, don't say nuttin at all.

I guess what I need to do is to try to learn how to be patient with these people. They don't know how it feels and I hope to god they never have to.

The Hors Forst Arrives and the birds leave

Well it's official, there's nothing left in my yard. The house sparrows have flown the coop, so it would appear that I'm left with an empty heated bird bath and half eaten feeders.

I don't know what happened and at this point I have to honestly say I don't really care. Money's tough to come by these days with the frantic saving for Christmas so the extra drain from continual seed purchase is nice not to have.

It's funny this has been the first year that christmas seemed to have lost the sparkle for me. It could be the stress, it could be that someone seems to be missing from my life...I don't really know I just know that it doesn't feel right.

I wish I believed in Santa Claus.

Do you remember that time? Everything seemed fresh and exciting, waking up Christmas morning, rushing downstairs to see what Santa had brought? Life was simple and easy, there was no stress, no worry about where the next dollar was coming from. We played.

How many of us take the time to play? I know I don't. I've been obsessed with getting all of the last minute work that came my way done and out of the way so I could enjoy the season.
It was on my way to deliver the last round of santa pictures that I stopped to take these hors frost pictures.

I decided to play.

I had a million other things to do, but my instinct had told me to take my camera with me...the frost was just too beautiful. So i stopped when I felt like it, hit the gravel roads and found beauty the likes of which I hadn't taken the time to enjoy in weeks.

It was the first time I'd felt like me in weeks. it made me realize that THIS was what I was born to do. Be outside, camera in hand, framing what I see as beautiful. The other stuff is fine, it pays the bills, but this is where my passion is. This is when I'm the happiest.
The snows falling again outside...I think that this is the perfect day to focus on the season. I think I hear my coffee calling me.

December

Baby it's cold outside...or at least that's what Bing's telling me this morning and since he's rarely ever lied to me before...well except that thing on washing my face and hair with snow, I'm inclined to believe him.

Although I am questioning the sanity of his longing clear a path and to lift a spade of snow. Fancy talk for shoveling. Lets Face it... if Bing was living here in Winnipeg he probably wouldn't have such a romantic picture of shoveling snow.

We've had over 56 cm of snow fall in the last 2 weeks...and that was before the calendar hit December. I think it's safe to say that most of us have already lost that warm fuzzy feeling about clearing snow.

The sparrows are still here...but just barely. The Jays have deserted me and the starlings have yet to arrive so all in all not a lot left to look at in the yard other than sparkling christmas lights and snow.