Song Sparrow

Lets face it...these guys are amazing and beautiful. There song used to be the one that I would wake up to via a clock that was my grandmothers that would chime a different bird every hour. Sadly that feature of the clock burnt itself out over christmas, but at least now I get to hear them in person.

I want to take a step away from my bird posts today to add something personal...almost a year ago I lost someone very important to me rather suddenly...this was something that I wrote whenever that feeling got to strong...






IT COMES IN WAVES

I never thought it would be like this, to know that you are gone.
I thought it would be easier at this point in time.
I never thought it was possible, to feel so much, yet feel nothing at all.
I never imagined it would come back, over and over again,
Making me wish with all my soul that you could be whole again.

I know I should be stronger, I know I should be fine,
But all I keep on thinking is that I wish we'd had more time.
It creeps up and when you least expect it,
It suffocates the happiness & joy.
Leaving in it's wake, sadness and the question WHY?

I pick up the phone to call you and realize you won't be there
No more answers to my questions, so many left unasked.
The flashes are the hardest, it's like I'm there again
A simple smell, taste or touch can make it far to real
I wish with all my heart and soul I didn't have to feel.

It's almost been a year since you were stolen from our midst
I find these days the hardest, so fresh, so raw, so real
I would give almost anything not to have to feel.
People say in time, it really will get better.
To those I say 'screw you' you haven't got a clue.

I'm tired of the pain, tired of the sadness
I'm tired of the sleeplessness & tired of the dreams.
I'm tired of feeling raw & exposed,
Please help me daddy, please.

The days have passed more quickly now
It can't have been a year.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays
you simply were not here.

I think back to a year ago, you fought so hard to stay
But life had other plans for you, no matter how hard we prayed.
I can't explain how much you're missed each and every day
You'd fought so hard and beat the odds
But still you couldn't stay.

You added oh so much to all the lives you touched
You've left behind a legacy that will never die.
For every tree that drops it's seed and starts a new...


UNFINISHED