Erase

Why is it that one negative comment can erase all of the hard work?

While out for my morning run I experienced an all time low. As I passed by a woman watering her lawn with her small son she apparently felt the need to call out insults about my body and running speed.

Every one's told me that they would have confronted her, but I think that I was just in too much shock. Did I just really hear what I thought I heard? Is someone that looks like _that_ making fun of my new body? My 65lb lighter body? As I'm running? Really?

What is it in women that make them feel that they have to tear down someone else in order to feel better about themselves? Was she just so jealous that I have the motivation to change my life and she's still a bitter shrew?

I'm just as guilty at time I know...as soon as I got home I was ranting to the air about the short shorts she had on that were so far up certain parts of her body they were indecent. Not to mention the multiple chins and belly fat rolls. In some ways that makes me no better than her...but in my defense if you're going to lob a bomb at me be prepared for retaliation.

I'll admit it...it got to me. I was almost in tears. It's one thing to know that there are people out there who don't know me that still look at me as a "fat" person. It's another thing to actually have someone say something so horrid while you're still within hearing distance.

I've worked hard. I've added 4 half marathons to my resume this year for a total of 6...and I've registered for more this fall. I've changed my lifestyle, my eating habits, my body. So why does the one comment from a small minded, bitter shrew who looks the lady trash heap threw up on her get inside my head? (See? I'm no better...)

Is it because no matter how hard you try those insecurities never go away? I know that I'm in better shape than most of my friends. I know that I'm in better shape that 80% of the population these days. I run 5 days a week...hike, bike and kayak every weekend and ALL of my vacations focus around those activities.

So why have I given her that power over me? Could it be as simple as wanting to correct her mis-assumptions? Do I long to put her in her place in front of the people on her street? Or do I feel the need to educate her teeny tiny mind?

So remember people...the next time you see someone out exercising that doesn't look like the cover of a magazine, maybe instead of thinking something nasty, feel happy for them that they're trying to make a difference in their lives. It's the small minded people like the witch at #24 that make it harder than it needs to be.

Thumper said it best. "If you can't say something nice, Don't say nothin' at all".

Rain

As I sit here in my living room recuperating from my latest self induced injury (apparently the weekend of paddling was a bit more vicious than I'd thought), I can't help but notice the clouds rolling in. The rooms getting darker...almost to the point where I might need to turn on a light or two. It's nice. I know it's only august but after one of the hottest July's on record, I find myself not minding if nature would take over my watering duties for a day or two.

Every thing's bone dry...I find myself watering my vegetable garden every night. The grass has stopped growing and turned a lovely shade of brown. Tree's are stressed out and I'm running out of tank tops. The house is actually cold for the first time in what seems like forever...and I'm loving it. I threw on my new fleece to ward off the chill...I love the feel of a sweater. They're like a big giant hug.

I know, I know I could just open up the windows to warm up the house, but really what's the point? It'll just make the A/C work harder tomorrow. Besides I like being cold. I think it's because it reminds me of my favourite time of the year. Fall.

Every thing's cozy. The smell of fallen leaves, the crispness in the air, all letting me know that heavy socks and fireplaces are just around the corner. I like those gloomy days of rain...you know the ones...where you tuck in with a good book and a glass of wine or a cup of Hot Chocolate. Bing Crosby croons at me from the stereo telling me it's cold outside...and I find myself inclined to believe him.

I know that Fall's around the corner...the signs are all here, but for now I'm going to enjoy what's left of our summer...although I know that next week when I head out to my favourite campground I know that if I head to the main parking lot, I'll find it smells like fall. The silver poplar leaves will have started their annual pilgrimage to the ground and I know that I'll sit amongst the leaves and breathe deep. In the shade of course, because it shall inevitably be another scorching week of blistering heat.

Bliss

Bliss. It's a word that I haven't had many occasions to use up until recently. I find myself feeling constantly blessed for the places I find myself at these days. Pine point Rapids, Caddy lake, La Barriere Park, North Cross Lake...I could go on and on, but I won't. All of these places have allowed me to witness aspects of nature that you don't really get to come across living in the city.

The picture of the blue bird on the left was and impromptu spotting at birdshill park. I'll admit the rush that I felt was like no other. The knowledge that from 50feet away I KNEW it was a bird I had to chase, came from somewhere inside. Now please don't get me wrong. I know that the picture's far from perfect...if only his beak was on the other side of the branch! What I've come to realize is that perfection truly is in the eye of the beholder. The fact that I managed to get anything that was in focus at all was the real victory. That feeling of being allowed the privilege of crossing it's path was one that I will never forget.

Up until this past weekend I never really thought that feeling would exceeded...boy was I wrong. The picture just to the left is one that was taken on south cross lake, just before the tunnel that leads to north cross lake. We'd decided to embark on our most ambitious paddle trip yet...16 km...out and back. Now this doesn't sound like much to seasoned paddlers...I feel that one must also take into account the fact that we have our dog with us on all of our paddles. And let's not forget that this is our first year with kayaks!

I found myself constantly drinking in all of the stunning beauty wondering what could possibly surpass the wonder I was witnessing. Wouldn't you know it...something always did. Stunning views greeted us around every turn each one more breathtaking than the last. The moment we saw a momma black bear and her teeny tiny cub ambling down to the shoreline for a drink scared the crap out of me (we were on our way into shore to stop for lunch...we moved on) but then I realized as they ran up the hill I was seeing something most wouldn't...and probably never will.

Nature yet again was putting on a show and it was all for me...what was she going to present me with next? Why lily pads and watre lilies of course. As I glided though the bobbinh flowers I realized that there was only one word that could describe the experience. Bliss. I was sore, tired, cranky and hungry but what I felt at a most basic level was bliss. I think the next time I think something impossible, I'm going to go right head and do it.